If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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