Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
