I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
