if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
