I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
