just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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