i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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