Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
