So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
