Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
