So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
