I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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