seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
