Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
