What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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