Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
soo... how was my night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
