This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
