I've blown a few things in my day
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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