Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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