I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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