Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
