I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
