I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
