You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
