He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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