that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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