Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
