why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
