I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
