yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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