the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
