That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
