a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
