last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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