I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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