Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
