Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think I just sharted jello shots
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
