I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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