also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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