You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
be right there i have to get my cape
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
