At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
