i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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