think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
