just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
