He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
