Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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