i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just had sex on a roof
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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