we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
