ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
