Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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