i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
